Episode 19 - You're Forgettable (And 5 Other Real Estate Referral Killers)
The 6 Brutally Honest Reasons You’re Not Getting More Referrals
...and no, it’s not because you forgot the pop-bys.
Let’s just rip the Band-Aid off:
If you’re doing a good job but still not getting referral business? There’s a reason. In fact, there are six of them.
And before you start spiraling, know it’s not about being perfect. It’s about being intentional. I’m not here to sugarcoat. I’m here to help you build a business people can’t stop talking about in a good way.
So let’s dive in: the 6 real reasons people aren’t referring you (yet), and what you can do to fix it.
1. You’re Forgettable.
Yikes, I know. But stay with me.
In a sea of agents who all kinda look the same, talk the same, and market the same... what makes you stand out?
Your client should be able to tell a friend, “Oh, you have to call Lindsay, she’s the agent who specializes in XYZ and made our process so fun/easy/memorable.”
Whether it’s your niche, your personality, your unmatched responsiveness, or your deep market knowledge, you need a hook. Because “she was nice” won’t cut it. People refer agents who are unforgettable.
So ask yourself: Would your client remember your name a year from now?
2. The Experience Wasn’t Worth Talking About.
You did your job. Everything went fine. But that’s the problem: it was just fine.
Referral-worthy service goes beyond smooth transactions. It’s about surprise and delight.
I once paid for a plumber after closing to fix a client’s leaky faucet. That $175 turned into five new clients. Why? Because I showed up, even when I didn’t have to.
Are you looking for those little moments to go above and beyond? That’s what makes a story worth sharing.
3. You’re Inconsistent.
Oof. Another tough one.
If your communication is spotty, your brand is all over the place, or your systems are nonexistent, you’re sending signals that you’re not reliable. And unreliable = untrustworthy.
People refer pros they can count on. Not the agent who ghosts on updates, shows up late, or fumbles through each transaction like it's their first rodeo.
Consistency builds trust. Trust builds referrals.
4. They Didn’t Think You Earned Your Commission.
Let’s talk about that line item on the closing disclosure.
If your client is wondering what exactly they paid you for, it’s not just about perception, it’s about clarity.
You have to make the invisible work visible. Celebrate the wins, communicate every step, and remind them how you’re advocating for them behind the scenes.
No one values what they don’t understand. So show your value loudly and often.
5. You Ghosted After Closing.
This one hurts because it’s so fixable.
Referrals come from relationships, not transactions. If your entire post-close strategy is a generic monthly email (that they probably don’t even read), it’s time to rethink your plan.
Engage with them meaningfully. Comment on their social posts. Send a handwritten card on their birthday. Drop a “thinking of you” text when you drive past their street.
Want to stay top of mind? Act like someone who wants to stay in their life.
6. You Haven’t Taught Them How to Refer You.
Yep. Sometimes the problem is as simple as… they don’t know how.
You don’t need to beg. You just need to plant seeds early and often.
“I love working with referrals. The best way to connect someone with me is to start a group text or email.”
It’s casual, it's clear, and it doesn't feel weird. You’re just making it easy. And when it’s easy, it happens.
Final Truth Bomb: Not Everyone Will Refer You And That’s Okay.
Some people just don’t refer, period. Don’t take it personally. Focus on the ones who do.
Because when you do this work, even 5-10% better, you’ll see the ripple effect.
More referrals. More trust. More aligned, joyful clients.
Ready to Become Irresistibly Referrable?
If you loved this episode and want to go deeper, check out my course: Irresistibly Referrable.
It’s the whole system that agents rave about. You’ll learn how to:
Build a top-of-mind plan that feels authentic
Create a referral-worthy client experience
Stay in touch in ways that actually work
And make your business consistent, profitable, and aligned with your life
Because a business is built on referrals? That’s the kind that lasts.
🎧 Listen to the podcast episode now! And then share it with a friend who needs a little tough love this week. 😉 You’ve got this. And I’ve got your back.
